After Someone Dies

Guides / How to write an obituary

How to write an obituary

What to put in, what to leave out and how to get the facts right when you're tired.

An obituary tells people who died and how they can pay their respects. Then it says something true about the person. It doesn't have to be long, and there's no required format.

What to include

  1. The announcement. Their full name, the name people knew them by, their age, the town and the date they died.
  2. Their life. Where they grew up, their work, service, faith and what filled their days.
  3. What they were like. One small true story does more than a list of good qualities.
  4. Their family. Who survives them, and who died before them.
  5. The service. Whether there's a public service, or that the family will gather privately.
  6. Memorial gifts. A charity or cause, if the family wants one named.

What to leave out

AARP advises leaving out the birth date, birthplace, maiden names and home address, because thieves use them to steal identities. You can give the age instead of the date of birth. AARP also warns that a published funeral date and time can show when a house will be empty. Ask someone to stay at the house during the service if you publish the time.

How to handle family lists

Write the list once, then ask one person from each branch of the family to read it. Include spouses the way the family would. Spell every name from a source, not from memory.

How to mention the cause of death

That's for the family to decide. You can leave it out, say "after a long illness" or name it plainly if that helps people understand.

When there are hard parts

You don't have to mention estrangement, divorce or anything else you don't want public. Saying less is fine. The examples show how families write about a hard life with honesty and care.

Before you publish

  • Read it aloud once.
  • Have someone who knew them check dates, names and places.
  • Ask the newspaper for its price and deadline. Many charge by length, so ask for a quote before you pay.
  • Share the online version with people who won't see the paper.
Want a first draft? Answer a few questions and get three free drafts to edit, plus a printable program.

Where this comes from

Checked November 6, 2026. This is general information, not legal advice. See how we check facts or report a mistake.

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